I hope that as you leave 2021 behind, you are proud of yourself; that you are proud of how far you have come, not necessarily in terms of what the world may count as achievements and accomplishments, but in terms of how far YOU have come. I hope that as you review your year, you practice self-compassion and remember that your worth is not tied to your accomplishments
I hope that you look back on the year, not with regret or pain, but with peace; a peace that surpasses all understanding, that envelopes you and makes you feel warm on the inside and that gives you hope for tomorrow.
YOU have made it and that is all that matters.
You may not feel like this year was anything to write home about. You may still be dealing with some unresolved disappointment, blow or pain that the past months or year have thrown at you. BUT YOU are here and YOU are present. YOU should be proud, if not for anything, but for this.
It is true that where there is life, there is hope, there is opportunity, there is chance; A chance to heal, a chance to right wrongs, a chance to start all over, a chance to keep going, a chance to grow… a chance to live.
So this is not a piece to help you take stock of how the year has been or to give “tips” on how to bounce back from a rough 2021. While these may be useful, this is a simple piece to once again celebrate YOU, for making it this far and for not giving up.
So here’s to YOU. 🥂
Remember, the world is always better with you in it.
I’m super excited to launch the YouTube Content Planner by Rachel Eyo! 💃🏽✨
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You have composed your first song; you have written your first blog post; recorded your first Youtube video, gathered content to launch your website; tidied up your CV; written your masters’ application essay, put together content for your first webinar/masterclass/event or come up with a brilliant business idea with a stunning business plan and proposal even you are proud of.
You are eager to get the process going.
You are stuck.
You are paralysed.
You cannot seem to take any step further because you are plagued by the need to ensure that everything you have done is perfect.
You probably suffer from perfectioniosis and have no one to tell you. Your need for perfection may be your blessing and curse in that your refusal to accept nothing less than your idea of “perfect” helps you produce top quality work, but may paralyse you when all you need to do is just get started.
If you do find yourself stalling intentionally on getting things done, here are 6 tips to help you overcome perfectionism and just get started:
1. Develop a Growth Mindset
“A growth minded person believes that they can learn anything as long as they are willing to put in enough effort into it. If theyfail, they would get back up and try again, this time with new knowledge about what not to do. They realize that their potential is only limited by their willingness to work hard and keep trying new approaches until something works.”
A growth minded person takes on challenges, learns from them and increases their abilities and achievements. He or she does not see failure in its raw form and does not get discouraged or devastated by mistakes, but sees each failure as a learning opportunity or as an opportunity to be better and to do better. He/she sees failure not as an evidence of unintelligence, but as an opportunity for growth. He/she is constantly willing to improve, is positive about the future and hopeful that his/her goals would be achieved.
When you develop a growth mindset, you are gradually able to overcome perfectionism as you learn to accept that failures are a part of the process. Your first try is not expected to be superb neither is it expected to be perfect.
“In a growth mindset, people believe that their most basic abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work-brains and talent are just the starting point. This view creates a love of learning and a resilience that is essential for great accomplishment.”
2. Remember, “Done over Perfect”
This is so important to remember in whatever task or project you may be working on. You may be waiting for the perfect time or the perfect person, or perfect equipment, or perfect result, or perfect scenario. Just stop waiting and get started!
The perfect time is now. Every second you waste trying to “get things together” or “put the finishing touches” is another second that you lose fussing over things that may not matter. Be okay with learning as you go along. No one is ever perfect the first time around. Mastery takes time, practice and consistency. You may be worried about what other people think of the quality of your work, but put in your best and put it out there. How would you know if you do not try?
Also, be okay with welcoming constructive criticisms and feedbacks. Do not take them personal.
3. Avoid Unhealthy Comparisons
Do not in anyway compare yourself to the next person.
Sometimes these unhealty comparisons creep up subconsciously and we waste valuable time dwelling on them and feeling less than competent to handle certain tasks because we are too busy concentrating on the next person’s strengths and not ours.
A growth minded individual realizes that each person has his/her gifts, talents, strengths and weaknesses and has an equal chance at developing same as each individual is unique in his/her own way. Focus on your strengths and develop your weaknesses into strengths. Also, feed your potential.
Time spent watching another person’s progress and comparing to yours, reduces the time you have to focus on your journey and goals.
Remember, comparison is the thief of joy.
4. Fall in Love With the Process
Enjoy the learning process of it all.
Life is in various stages and phases with each one presenting a plethora of lessons you can learn from. You could find that you are so obsessed with end results and expectations within a certain time frame that you get impatient and begin to freak out when the process goes beyond that expected time frame.
Embrace each phase and each lesson that can be learned from life, all the while expecting the best to come and working hard to achieve it. Do not worry about how you are going to be perfect or how it will work out. Just put your head down and do the work. Success will come.
The prize is in the process.
5. Believe In YOU
Seems pretty basic right?
The reality is if you are letting time pass you by and not getting started on your goals, then you do not believe in yourself so much. You have chosen to focus on your weaknesses and not your strengths. You have chosen to listen to the negative “what if’s” over the positive “what ifs”. You have decided that you are not good enough, not smart enough, not pretty/handsome enough or not qualified enough to get things done
The most important question to ask yourself when you get consumed with these self-limiting beliefs and doubtful thoughts is “How true are these thoughts?” Alot of time, we drown ourselves in thoughts that are not true; thoughts and fears that prevent us from getting what we truly want. Your fears are really just that and they almost never come true anyway.
So what are you waiting for? It does not have to be perfect the first time and there is always room for growth and self-improvement.
Stop doubting your greatness.
You can do it.
Just get started!
Watch this book review I did on Jen Sincero’s book You Are A Bad Ass which has given me the inspirational and motivational push I needed to keep going after my goals. (Also, please subscribe to my Youtube Channel)
If you’re currently in a slump and feeling a little less than motivated to work towards the goals you have set for the year, chances are, you need a little booster to get you back on track.
You may be feeling a little less than motivated to go to work, finish a book, tap into your creative side to come with with new ideas, finish that online course, pray, work on your relationship with God or whatever it may be. The funny thing is you may not be able to identify any reason for the lack of motivation.
It is important to remember that motivation is not a constant thing, it comes and goes. And it is safe to assume that this applies to all human beings (just in case you were tempted to compare yourself to the next person who seems to have everything figured out.).
So what ways can you motivate yourself to get back on track and focus on achieving your goals?
Remember Your Why
Go back to your why.
Why did you set this goal? What do you seek to achieve with this goal? Write these down as you ponder on them.
It really helps to know the purpose for which you are starting a particular journey so that when you find yourself in a slump, you can find the fire to continue. Read motivational and inspirational books, listen to podcasts, fill your mind with positive and inspiring content and have inspiring conversations.
Share your Goals
Admittedly, this could be scary to do sometimes because you want to make sure you follow through when you share your goals with another person. However, it is important to share your personal goals with close friends or family who can help keep you motivated.
Sharing your goals is as important as who you share your goals with. Remember, the whole idea of talking about your goals is to boost motivation. So, in sharing these parts of you which you may be nervous to share, you want to be on the lookout for people who you know would keep you on your toes in an encouraging way.
Sharing your goals does not only provide you with accountability and encouragement, but suggestions and advice on what you can do better to achieve the desired goals. This could serve as a much needed boost to help you reach your destination.
Build on Small Successes
Sometimes. its easy to lose motivation when the goal ahead seems too huge or just too much.
However, if you break down the goals into mini-goals and micro-mini goals, then the goal is you can achieve almost anything.
Remember to take one day at a time and in doing that, take one moment at a time. You could write down your mini goals for the day or for the week and paste them anywhere you have a lot of access to so you can be reminded of those goals. Take one task at a time and then you find that in doing that, the momentum builds.
Do not forget to celebrate little victories when they happen. You deserve to celebrate and enjoy your small successes .
Always remind yourself to identify the positive results and not the negatives that would come out of achieving your goals. Remind yourself that you are a winner; you can do it and you will do it!
Make a decision to get back on track and stay there!
Love and Light,
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“Uncertainty is the only certainty there is, and knowing how to live with insecurity is the only security.”
~John Allen Paulos
Dealing with uncentertainty can be tough.
Not knowing what lies ahead or whether you’re on the right path can be nerve-racking. Not having figured out your path or purpose in life can sometimes cause levels of anxiety and stress.
The world is full of different opportunities for the taking and sometimes, you want to be sure an opportunity is for you before you take it; you want to be certain of an outcome to ensure that it is not a waste of time or a failed venture. You want to take a risk, but not too-big-a risk; you want to make your loved ones proud, be successful, fall in love, settle down with a family and be happy.
If you could, you would probably want to see the end from the beginning…just to be sure before taking that step; because some assurance that you’re on the right track and that things will turn out well always comes in handy.
However, life does not always go this way. Uncertainty is the only certainty there is. In other words, you will continue to exist in a space that is filled with uncertainties; not knowing the end from the beginning. You will continue to have “what–if?” questions, doubts and wonder whether it will all be worth it at almost every phase in life.
You may be undergoing a phase of uncertainty in your life or have just completed one phase, uncertain of what the next holds. You may be afraid of the change that comes with the next phase or in fact, have no idea of what it’s supposed to look like.
I am learning a lot about making peace with uncertainties in life and not being able to predict the future. So here are 7 ways you can handle uncertainty.
1. Let go and Make Peace
The first step to dealing with uncertainty is learning to let go and make peace with the fact that you cannot control everything and everyone. While you may strive to have total control over your life and take responsibility for your every action, you do not have total control of life in general.
To deal with uncertain phases in your life, you need to be willing to understand that some things are just way beyond your control and this should be okay. You may be able to control what you say but you cannot control how someone will interprete it; you cannot control another human being’s feelings towards you no matter how hard you try; you can submit your CV for a job application, but you cannot control the HR Manager’s actions; you cannot control your children, your friends or the universe as a whole.
So what do you do? You simply make peace with this fact and take each day as it comes, hoping for the best and working hard to get the best.
2. Trust Yourself
Right now, you may be trying to find your purpose or what on earth you are here for. You may just be waiting for the next best opportunity to kick off the next phase of your life.
Whatever the case may be, you need to learn to trust yourself. Trust your capabilities and believe in you. You are doing your very best to make some good out of life and you will be rewarded for all your hard work. You may be quite unsure of what the future holds and overtime, may have started doubting your capabilities to achieve a task at hand or get that job or get admission into school or start that business or that blog or YouTube channel.
Resist negative thoughts such as “Will I be good enough?”, “Will they like me?”, “What if I’m not accepted?”, “What if they laugh?”, “What if it fails?” and engage! The best way for you to know if an opportunity is for you is to engage with it; try it out.
Most of the time, you do not lose anything by trying, but all the time, you lose 100 percent of the shots you do not take.
Trust yourself. Trust the God in You.
You can do it
Sometimes it can get overwhelming not knowing what the future holds and not having figured things out in your current phase of life. The pressure on you right now may be seemingly insurmountable because a lot of expectations are weighing you down. In your world, you have no choice but to “make it.”
In the midst of all the uncertainty, the drama, the “hustling” and “bustling”, the disappointments and emotional rollercoasters as well as the hopes and expectations, remember to Breathe.
Once in a while, take some time out for yourself. Breathe in and out intentionally. Exhale the stress and inhale the positivity and bright hopes for the future. Take some time out to do things you love, hang out with friends, watch a movie, take in the beauty of life, take periodic mental breaks and stay emotionally and physically present.
It’s pretty easy to get lost in the overwhelmingness of life, planning for a future that you cannot see and striving to put the right things in place. Enjoy each moment life gives you and remember to stay positive.
4. Maintain a Positive Attitude
I will be the first to admit that sometimes, this could be very tough to do in the midst of uncertainty.
However, the good news is that you have a choice. You always have a choice. You can either choose to have and maintain a positive attitude towards life in general and be positive about what the future holds for you or you can choose to be consumed by negative thoughts.
Remember that you attract what you are ready for and what you speak over your life. I believe that words are very powerful, no matter what context they are used. If you constantly speak about how hopeless your reality is and how it does not seem to get better or will it ever get better, then that is what will manifest in your life. However, if you speak positivity into different areas of your life even when you have no clue what the future holds, even when it seems bleak, you will manifest that positivity over your life and reap fruitful rewards.
5. Stay Focused on Your Journey
While it is important to learn to speak positivity over your life, it is equally important to stay focused on your journey.
YOU HAVE TO RESIST THE URGE TO ENGAGE IN UNHEALTHY COMPARISONS.
Put your head down and focus on what needs to be done. Remember that you can only control so much, so do what you can. If you need to tidy up your CV, apply to that school, take a first step towards a business, take a leap of faith or work on a relationship, DO IT. Do what you can control and leave the rest to God.
Believe it or not, everyone is trying to figure life just like you. No one has it all figured out, including the ones who do. We all have uncertain moments and moments of success culminating in individual journeys in life. So do not compare your behind-the-scenes with another person’s highlight reel. If you need to take some time off from social media, do it. If you need to unplug, do it. But remember that it is YOUR journey; it does not have to look like that of another person.
6. Avoid labelling
Avoid negative labelling when you are going through any form of uncertainty. If you have not gotten desired results in your life after trying a number of times, do not label yourself as “stupid”, “dumb”, “broken”, “not smart enough”, “not good enough”. You also need to refrain from making statements like “I always mess things up” or “I’ll mess this up”.
Your mind feeds into what you continuously tell yourself. Negative labelling does not keep you focused and strips you of the strength to go on.
7. Keep Going!
Most importantly, keep going!
Even in the midst of uncertainty, do not give up, do not give in, do not stop.. Keep going. Keep putting in those applications, keep studying hard for that exam, keep acquiring those skills, keep hoping for the best and feeding your mind with positive thoughts.
You may not have it all together or figured out right now, but that is okay. One day you will, and one day it would all be worth it. So do what you can and stay focused and consistent!
Trust the process. Trust God. Trust your journey and never give up.
Remember, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.
Love and Light,
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I can only imagine what may be going through in your world. You may or may not have been having a great time this month or year but, I want you to remember that YOU MATTER and here are 7 reasons why:
You are the only You there is.
In a world of about seven billion people, it may sound impossible, but you are the only You there is. You may have unknown doppelgangers littered across the world, strangers with similar talents or friends with like passions. BUT…none of them are You. You are special, amazing and beautiful. You matter because your unique quality is an added bonus to this world.
“By just being you, you make a profound difference in this world.”
Your mere existence is an inspiration to mankind
You may think you have to do; do more, do better, be more or be better to inspire someone alive at this very moment. You’re wrong. Your existence alone is an inspiration to many. Whether you have fought a number of internal battles while wearing a perfect smile on your face, or are still struggling to make things work in different aspects of your life, you are an inspiration.
As unbelievable as it sounds because you’re tempted to wonder how you can inspire when you “have not accomplished anything”, remember that you have accomplished life, living, overcoming and drawing in breaths with each moment. You are a source of hope and faith to the silent watchers. While you may wait to have a story to tell, remember that your story is in your existence, your experiences and your birth.
You have the power to heal souls
With simple kind words, a generous act or just a genuine compliment, you possess within you, no matter your age or economic status, the power to heal a soul, uplift a spirit and save a life. People around you hurting in silence and fear can feel a sort of respite just by coming in contact with your being. You have within you, the power to change lives for the better by being you. Some may expressly tell you, others may thank you silently from the depths of their hearts.
Your feelings matter
You matter because your feelings matter. Your emotions, as raw as they may seem, matter. Every fibre of your being matters. Every thought, every feeling, every hurt, pain, joy and laughter matter.
You may have heard words like “oh its just this”, “aren’t we all going through it?”, “people have it worse” or “remember to be grateful”. These may be true, but remember that your feelings are valid. They are not invalidated by another person’s similar or worse experience.
You are loved and needed
You may not feel like it sometimes, but you are loved. You are needed. You are desired. By us. We falter as humans sometimes because we only express our innermost gratitude and appreciation for each other when we are gone, but we are learning. At every phase of your life, you are loved and needed.
You have a voice
With your voice you can move mountains. With your voice you can shake the earth. With your voice, you can start a movement. You matter because you have a voice which you can use to stir the world in a better direction. You can use your voice for good and positively impact people for free.
With your voice putting out positive energy in the world, you can cause a spark that will change the lives of people you are yet to come in contact with. With your voice, you can change the life of a next-door neighbour.
You have a purpose
Instilled in every human being, including you, is a purpose. A unique purpose no other person has. A purpose so valuable that you wonder how “little you” can fulfil it. You were destined for it from the moment you were intricately crafted in the womb.
You watch others executing ideas that seem to align with your purpose, similar to those ideas you crafted in the privacy of your room but have been sitting on for the longest time because of that four-letter-word, HOWEVER, your purpose is unique. It’s what you are on earth for. Do not rule it out saying “someone is already doing it.”
Understanding your purpose and higher calling in life requires patience, self-awareness and introspection. It requires unplugging from the world occasionally and observing quiet times.
“Never ever think that what you have to offer is insignificant. There will always be someone out there who needs what you have to give.”
Please think about these words deeply until you find truth in them. And if you are looking for 50 more reasons why your life matters, read this.
May this new month bring you joy, a lot of reasons to smile from the heart and peace of mind. 🥂
Love and Light,
P.S, I am excited to announce that I will be LAUNCHING MY YOUTUBE CHANNEL for my book reviews this February 2020! I love, love, love books and I love discussing them any chance I get. I read quite widely from fiction to non-fictional to psychological thrillers to autobiographies to bildungsromans to self-help and motivational books, I love them all! So if you’re a booklover or know someone who is, you can hit the subscribe button here or share the link so you know when the content drops!
As the first couple of weeks of the new decade draws to an end, quite a number of us may already be over the “Happy New Year” “New Year, New Me”, “Vision 2020” vibe, that is, if we were even hyped about it in the first place.
You may or may not have penned down the goals you want to achieve in the new year and you may or may not be ready to execute them.
Whatever the case may be, if you’re looking to start acting on those 2020 plans, here are 5 important steps to turn your plans into action!
1. Develop an Action Plan
An action plan is basically a road map you can follow that will get you to your goal. It critically examines and answers the questions “when?’ “what?” “how?” “who?’ and “why” in relation to the goals you set.
By developing an action plan and writing same down, your goal will seem less daunting and more attainable. Your action plan should entail a detailed breakdown of all the steps needed to achieve your goals along the way. By writing out the individual steps, and then crossing each one off as you complete it, you will realize that you are making progress towards your ultimate goal. This is especially important if your goal is big and demanding, or long-term.
In my previous blog post, I discussed developing an action plan and how a vision board party I attended helped me reflect clearly on some important questions in relation to my goals here.
2. Decide to be Consistent and Committed
Look, the truth is, you can pen down all the goals in the world, develop a ten-page action plan or hang twelve vision boards in your room with words screaming at you in capital letters. If you do not decide to be consistent and committed to your goals this year, you will fall short.
This is not me trying to be negative or pessimistic. It is just a fact. In order to follow through on your goals for the year, you must decide to be consistent and committed. However, the work is not in the decision but in the follow through. To help with making the conscious decision, you can write it down, stick a little reminder on your mirror or talk to someone about this conscious decision you want to make and implement.
The truth is, making a decision to be consistent is like making a vow. There is really no point in making it if you do not intend to follow through on it. So, before you make a hasty decision, seeing as it may appear simple to do, remember that you will be required to follow through to see results.
For more tips on being consistent and getting things done even when you do not feel like, click here.
3. Develop Discipline
In order to achieve those goals you have set for yourself for 2020, you have to grow and develop in your discipline. Without discipline, accomplishment of goals set will be next to impossible.
Discipline will help you go far and keep you motivated to continue in your goals and dreams for days you do not feel like doing anything. Practice delaying immediate gratification of activities that are not in line with your goals.
4. Conquer Fear and avoid procrastination
In order to smash the goals you have set this year, you need to conquer fear. I have realized that this is as important as the goals themselves. Fear paralyses you and boxes you into a corner, so that you cannot move, cannot act and cannot take decisions capable of catapulting your life in the direction you want it to go.
You must conquer fear and repeatedly remind yourself that you want these goals and are willing to work hard to see results. them. Stop doubting yourself and your capabilities. Do not talk down to yourself or wait to be the smartest in the room before you take a step.
Furthermore, avoid procrastination. Avoid the perfectionist mindset. There is no perfect time. And if there was a perfect time, the perfect time would be now! You do not have to be ‘good enough‘ to start working towards your goals and putting things in place that will help you accomplish same.
“Our greatest fears are just that…our greatest fears“
5. Go For It!
There is no time like the present. You’ve got to start somewhere, so dig deep, find your courage and go for it! Your goals will never happen if you don’t take action. It may seem scary to take that first leap. Maybe you’re still working on the details, developing the action plan, thinking it through or are worried you’re not ready.
Plan and ensure that all the necessary preparations are carried out. However, you also need to jump in and continue to figure it out as you go
YOU CAN DO IT!
Love and Light,
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“Our Dreams become Reality, when we first, give ourselves permission to Dream, wildly and without limits. Then we turn those dreams into Goals, which is the bridge between the world, imagination and the reality we create for ourselves.”
Who else is bubbling with excitement at the thought of 2019 coming to an end?
This year has really been something, if I do say so myself. No matter how crazy it has gotten, I am still grateful for being able to see its end. I am also excited about what 2020 holds because I am certain it’s going to be a great year for everyone reading this!
So, if you’ve been doing some deep reflection about how 2019 went and you have started thinking of setting goals for 2020, then you’ve come to the right place!
You may currently have decided on some goals you want to achieve in 2020, but may have decided to just “wing it” and “see what happens”. Quite a number of people in recent times have hopped on the “no new year resolutions” and “just gonna go with the flow” trains. While there may be nothing wrong with this, setting your goals and putting pen to paper might just be the best thing you decide to do for your 2020.
Goal setting is really important because it gives you long-term vision and short-term motivation. It focuses your acquisition of knowledge, and helps you to organise your time and resources so that you can make the most of your life.
When you have a goal written down, you have a destination, a standard, a sort of benchmark. You are conscious of achieving this goal and are constantly reminded of same. The goal means a lot to you so most of what you do during the year, months and days are intricately tied to achieving this goal.
Furthermore, when you set goals, you develop effective action plans that will help motivate and guide you towards them. You are therefore able to navigate life keeping your goals in mind and can return to your why when you find yourself in a demotivation pit.
So here are 5 helpful tips for effective goal setting in 2020:
1. Write them down!
This is the part where I emphasise how important it is to actually write down your goals for 2020 and not just make a mental note of what you hope to achieve. While I am not writing mental notes off, I believe (and this has been backed by years of scientific research) that written goals are more likely to be achieved than those not written. The physical act of writing down a goal makes it real and tangible so it is hard to forget.
“By recording your dreams and goals on paper, you set in motion the process of becoming the person you most want to be. Put your future in good hands—your own.”
—Mark Victor Hansen
Let’s do a little exercise that requires honesty: Think of the goals you set at the beginning of 2019. Now, take a slow but careful look back on how the year went in terms of your goals. How many were achieved and how many were not? How many of the goals not achieved were because you genuinely forgot or felt you could not “keep up”? No need to beat yourself up if you feel you fell short this year, there’s always next year. Besides, you are not your goals!
Your answers should motivate you to write down your goals going forward. You actually stand to lose nothing if you write down these goals.
2. Set goals that align with your purpose
It is very important to set goals that align with your purpose and calling in life.
A number of us get caught up in setting goals based on what we think we should be doing or accomplishing (saving up for a new car when it’s not needed or getting a higher paying job in an industry you hate) rather than based on what our purpose is.
While these goals may be achievable, you’ll find that they are much easier to drop during the year because they are not aligned with your purposed and/or calling. You may set them because you feel you need to, but if you dig deep, you’ll find that you are not passionate about these goals and/or they are not in sync with your deepest dreams and desires.
“So, when you set your goals, go for your deepest dreams, desires, passionsand calling. Don’t let the voice inside your head tell you “it’s impossible”, “it’s too complicated”, etc – because if you don’t set that goal, you will never do, what you were put on earth to do.”
You may be wondering “well, what exactly is my purpose and/or calling?” To that, I say, you already have your first assignment of 2020. Now get to it.
3. Set SMART GOALS
SMART stands for Specific., Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time Bound.
Specific: Do not be vague. Ask yourself exactly what you want. Write it down. Do not be scared to be specific about when, how, how long and even how much you want?
Measurable: Quantify your goal. How will you know if you have achieved itor not? Set simple milestones and celebrate little victories.
Attainable: Be honest with yourself about what you can reasonably accomplish at this point in your life while taking into consideration your current responsibilities. Ask yourself “Is this goal attainable?”
Realistic: It’s got to be doable, real and practical. Do not get overwhelmed by people’s input of what their version of reality is. You may also be tempted to, out of fear, rule certain goals out as “unrealistic”. Do not let fear rule your goal setting for 2020.
Time: Associate a time frame with each goal. When should you complete the goal? It is advisable to have short time frames for smaller goals within the bigger goals rather to prevent getting discouraged or demotivated.
4. Use unconditional love as the starting point
“When you use unconditional self-love as the starting point when setting any goal, you remain aware that perfection is not tied to the end result, but rather the reality of the present moment.You were perfect at the onset and you are perfect now; you are perfect throughout. You are aware the entire time that the end result won’t define you. It is through the practice of awareness that you are able to see the perfection that exists in yourself, which also lets you see perfection in the world around you and in each being in it.”
This is so so so so important because you need to remember that you are setting goals because you want to, you desire to, and not because you need to. You need to remember that you are not the goals you set, neither are you the accomplishment or otherwise of these goals.
When setting your goals for 2020, use unconditional love for yourself as a starting point. By doing this, you understand that you are already perfect and complete in God as you are. These goals (be it getting married, moving to a better apartment, having kids, getting a better job, getting into school etc) are amazing bonuses that do not define you at your core.
You are already perfection. Never forget that.
5. Develop an Action Plan
This step is often missed in the process of goal setting. I must admit that even I have missed this step a lot of times in setting goals. I would just write down my goals and try to keep it moving.
However, it is important to develop an action plan which entails a breakdown of all the steps needed to achieve the goals along the way. By writing out the individual steps, and then crossing each one off as you complete it, you’ll realize that you are making progress towards your ultimate goal. This is especially important if your goal is big and demanding, or long-term.
I recently attended a vision board party hosted by VisionBoardsNigeria and it was an amazing time for me reflecting on my goals for 2019 and which ones I was able to accomplish. I was able to reflect on those I was yet to accomplish and why.
It was a defining moment for me when I realised that although I did not accomplish some goals I had set out, I did not feel any less about myself. Instead, I was spurred to try again in 2020.
“Goal setting is much more than simply saying you want something to happen. Unless you clearly define exactly what you want and understand why you want it the first place, your odds of success are considerably reduced.”
Here’s to a productive and goal-smashing 2020 filled with unconditional self-love. 🥂
Love and Light,
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The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”
Easier said than done right?
Tell me about it.
October 2019. You may not be feeling those ground-breaking, self-achieving goals you set towards the end of 2018 or at the beginning of 2019. In fact, you may have had a really tough year and are ready to face the fact that you’re done…ready to hit the RESET button.
YES, the first week of 2019 seemed full of promises, opportunities, and goals you set out to achieve for the rest of this year. From those weight loss and healthy-eating goals, to spiritual goals, to that career change or taking a big step in starting a business/project, to finishing books you’ve always wanted to read, to completing courses and acquiring more skills without any excuse, the list seems endless.
You may have “run out of steam” and are currently considering giving up totally and patiently waiting at the train station for the 2020 train to arrive. Some of the reasons why, may be due to circumstances beyond your control. You may also have decided to start working on these goals again from January 2020 even though you can get to work now, but there’s just something about a new year that gives you that added boost and determination…right?
You may have adopted the “Abeg I cannot come and go and kill myself” mentality (which by the way, is the most convenient to say, but in reality, could be a way to escape from accomplishing goals you set or yourself) and are fine with this because, actually, you cannot kill yourself.
You look back on this year and see that the little steps you decided to take towards an important goal now seem too big and scary to accomplish. There are now more reasons why your plans can go wrong than right and the sole reason why it can go right is proving difficult to find. And so it seems safer to just remain in your comfort zone where nothing goes left and everything goes right. Sadly, it is safe to conclude that you may be fading out.
I’m here to remind you that 2019 is not over yet! If you have been making attempts from the beginning of 2019 till now but none seem to come through and all you have been left with are mistakes, remember that:
“Each mistake teaches you something new about yourself. There is no failure, remember, except in no longer trying. It is the courage to continue that counts.”
To take a closer look at your goals
If you wrote them down or made a mental note, pause and reflect on the three most important goals that you determined you would set out to achieve this year. Now, DO EVERYTHING WITHIN YOUR POWER TO ACHIEVE THOSE GOALS OR SET THINGS IN PLACE TO DO SO.
To count your wins
This year was not all bad. There were some minor insignificant wins that you had this year, even if the only one might be approaching the year end alive. Count them. It’s easy to forget the good and focus on what did not go right. However, count those wins and remain grateful but hungry to do more.
Tobelieve in your capabilities
The mind is powerful and belief in oneself, which stems from the human mind, can either make or break you as an individual. Your belief in yourself and your capabilities can either create an amazing life for you or destroy one full of potential. Believe in your capabilities to see things through and get them done.
To resist from making unhealthy comparisons
The year is wrapping up. Social media is going to be awash with lists of achievements and stories from the journeys of others. People will share more their highs than lows. Resist comparing your journey to theirs. Pay attention to your Behind The Scenes and not someone else’s Highlight Reel.
It is not too late!
To go after those dreams and work hard in the achievement of your goals. You can write 2019 off as having run its course or you can be determined to put in work these next two months to set things rolling or put things in place. Your choice. The fact remains that it is not too late to achieve whatever it is before the end of the year.
Give 2019 that extra push. Sometimes, all you need to do is try one more time.
You can do this!
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Is it really possible though? To stay motivated all year long? Like, all year long?
In my opinion, I doubt it is possible to be psyched about all your goals through out the year especially if it is a huge goal which requires smaller steps to be taken. Through out the journey, there will definitely be some “off-days” or some days you are just not “feeling it”. There will be days where you will be like “abeg, I cannot come and go and die” or “okay, I’m so over this. What’s next?”.
Lool. Just writing this makes me think about some of the meltdowns I have where, sometimes, I cry out “But no one even sought my permission before I was born! Now I have to be an adult and have goals and dreams? I just want to sleep all day and have ice cream!…And be paid for sleeping all day and having ice cream” *(and then for a brief moment, I mentally tailor my CV to suit the application for my dream job which, by the way, is to be a human subject for sleep experiments in Asia and get paid in dollars for sleeping for extended periods of time. *sigh. *insert the saddest face known to humanity* (I was going to get a picture of someone who has my dream job, but while you’re at it, kindly resist googling “human subject in sleep experiment”. Don’t say I didn’t warn ya!)
I digress, but the point is, I guess we all feel that way sometimes because being motivated is not a constant state of mind; it comes and goes. One moment we are up and triggered, the next we are feeling “bleh”. And I think it is pretty much safe to assume that as long as you are a human being, the up-and-down-ity of it all applies to you and the next person (just in case you were about to compare yourself to someone who always seems to be motivated in a particular aspect of his/her life).
“Know what you want to do, hold the thought firmly, and do every day what should be done, and every sunset will see you that much nearer to your goal.” ~ Elbert Hubbard
So how do we then stay motivated throughout the year when it’s just February 2019 (here’s wishing you a happy new month…since that’s a thing, apparently) and some of us are already like “ehen, when is this 2019 ending sef?” ?
Briefly, here are 5 practical ways (which I try to practice, by the way), you can stay motivated through out the year, or at least, try to stay motivated all year long.
1. Write down those goals!
Yes, I have come again with my writing goals down mantra. But I think it really does help. When you can look at your goals clearly defined and written down, it gives you an added push in the right direction. You can always go back and look at them and even when you are feeling down and out, coming across some of them can remind you of what you really wanted to achieve in the first place.
The truth is, 2019 is going to get crazy and some of the things we had initially set out to do may get shoved to the side where we have only mentally noted them, but where we have them written out, no matter how crazy it gets or distracted we get, there is always something to remind us of the goal ahead…this is assuming we do not throw away what we wrote them in the first place. The quote below puts it perfectly…
Clear, written goals have a wonderful effect on your thinking. They motivate you and galvanize you into action. They stimulate your creativity, release your energy, and help you to overcome procrastination as much as any other factor.~ Brian Tracy
2. Share those dreams
I have found that sharing desired personal goals in whatever aspect of life with close friends or family can keep you motivated for longer periods of time. Sharing dreams or goals not only motivates, but acts as a source of encouragement or accountability. These few trusted ones can provide positive suggestions and/or constructive feedback on the plans being put in place to achieve those goals, ultimately giving you that much needed boost.
Funny enough, I have also found that sometimes, when we conceive an idea and start mapping out a goal that may grow from such idea, we often have moments where we tend to get doubtful, nervous and/or scared. Sharing this idea with the right person(s) may just give you that courage to take the first step. Also, through out the year, the said person(s) could keep you accountable and on track so if you get tempted to or fall off the wagon, or have a meltdown where things do not go as planned or you are just not “feeling it”, they can remind you why you started in the first place and help you believe in yourself again!
3. Find inspiration
They say “If you look for something hard enough, you’ll find it.” Well, that’s the truth. The same goes with finding inspiration.
The year is just starting out and you may still be psyched about your goals, but then a time might come where you’ll need all the inspiration the world has to offer just to believe in yourself, stay motivated and encouraged. some of the ways I am able to stay motivated is by reading articles on Medium, watching inspirational video clips on Youtube, following inspirational speakers on instagram and listening to some podcasts. You may find inspiration in other ways, but the key is to find what works for you. In finding my inspiration, I am able to muster some level of confidence or even listen to free advice on how to handle tasks that seem too huge at first. A couple of the podcasts I listen to are below.
4. Finish tasks
I have found that when you break down a goal into mini-goals and micro-mini goals, then you can achieve almost anything. This is because when you are able to break down, and in so doing, accomplish a task, you feel this boost of confidence to do the next and are sort of like energized to go on.
So finish each task, and if you are stuck at any point, reach out to someone for help or encouragement. Most times, when we get stuck in a task, we tend to burn out and the whole goal goes out the window because we feel it is too difficult or that we are not capable enough of accomplishing such a task, or the goal. Remember to take one day at a time and in doing that, take one moment and a task at a time.
5. Stay Positive!
Okay, so the reality of it all is that it is pretty easy to say “be positive!” or “stay positive!” when we all know we have moments where we find it hard to be positive. I guess that is why we need the right people around us to encourage us and feed us with positivity when we seem low on it.
But remember to identify the positives and not the negatives that would come out of achieving your goals. Remind yourself of the benefits and not the difficulties. Remind yourself that you are a winner, you can do it and you will do it! Make a decision to get back on track and stay there!
“Forgive yourself first. Release the need to replay a negative situation over and over again in your mind. Don’t become a hostage to your past by always reviewing and reliving your mistakes. Don’t remind yourself what you should have, could have or would have been. Release it and let it go. Move on.” ~ Les Brown
Having a positive mindset, the right enthusiasm about your goals and ultimately working hard to achieve them would be sure to keep you motivated all year long. Yes, there may be ups and downs as it is with life, but remember (and yes it may be easier said than done) to keep going and not give up.
How dod you stay motivated? Would love to hear from you in the comments!