If You Are Considering Giving Up on 2019, READ THIS!

Our greatest weakness lies in giving up.

The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time.”

Easier said than done right?

Tell me about it.

October 2019. You may not be feeling those ground-breaking, self-achieving goals you set towards the end of 2018 or at the beginning of 2019. In fact, you may have had a really tough year and are ready to face the fact that you’re done…ready to hit the RESET button.

YES, the first week of 2019 seemed full of promises, opportunities, and goals you set out to achieve for the rest of this year. From those weight loss and healthy-eating goals, to spiritual goals, to that career change or taking a big step in starting a business/project, to finishing books you’ve always wanted to read, to completing courses and acquiring more skills without any excuse, the list seems endless.

You may have “run out of steam” and are currently considering giving up totally and patiently waiting at the train station for the 2020 train to arrive. Some of the reasons why, may be due to circumstances beyond your control. You may also have decided to start working on these goals again from January 2020 even though you can get to work now, but there’s just something about a new year that gives you that added boost and determination…right?

You may have adopted the “Abeg I cannot come and go and kill myself” mentality (which by the way, is the most convenient to say, but in reality, could be a way to escape from accomplishing goals you set or yourself) and are fine with this because, actually, you cannot kill yourself.

You look back on this year and see that the little steps you decided to take towards an important goal now seem too big and scary to accomplish. There are now more reasons why your plans can go wrong than right and the sole reason why it can go right is proving difficult to find. And so it seems safer to just remain in your comfort zone where nothing goes left and everything goes right. Sadly, it is safe to conclude that you may be fading out.


I’m here to remind you that 2019 is not over yet! If you have been making attempts from the beginning of 2019 till now but none seem to come through and all you have been left with are mistakes, remember that:

“Each mistake teaches you something new about yourself. There is no failure, remember, except in no longer trying. It is the courage to continue that counts.”


To take a closer look at your goals

If you wrote them down or made a mental note, pause and reflect on the three most important goals that you determined you would set out to achieve this year. Now, DO EVERYTHING WITHIN YOUR POWER TO ACHIEVE THOSE GOALS OR SET THINGS IN PLACE TO DO SO.

To count your wins

This year was not all bad. There were some minor insignificant wins that you had this year, even if the only one might be approaching the year end alive. Count them. It’s easy to forget the good and focus on what did not go right. However, count those wins and remain grateful but hungry to do more.

To believe in your capabilities

The mind is powerful and belief in oneself, which stems from the human mind, can either make or break you as an individual. Your belief in yourself and your capabilities can either create an amazing life for you or destroy one full of potential. Believe in your capabilities to see things through and get them done.

To resist from making unhealthy comparisons

The year is wrapping up. Social media is going to be awash with lists of achievements and stories from the journeys of others. People will share more their highs than lows. Resist comparing your journey to theirs. Pay attention to your Behind The Scenes and not someone else’s Highlight Reel.

It is not too late!

To go after those dreams and work hard in the achievement of your goals. You can write 2019 off as having run its course or you can be determined to put in work these next two months to set things rolling or put things in place. Your choice. The fact remains that it is not too late to achieve whatever it is before the end of the year.

Give 2019 that extra push. Sometimes, all you need to do is try one more time.

You can do this!


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6 Tips to Help You Open Up Emotionally

On a scale of 1-10, how open are you?

The first number that came to your mind before you started over thinking the answer is your honest answer. No, not this one you’re now thinking of and trying to rationalize.

When was the last time you genuinely opened up to someone about your feelings, emotions or just how life is treating you in general? When was the last time you said something along the lines of “You know what, I’m not doing so great?” when a trusted friend or family member sought to know how you are doing. When was the last time you felt light after having purged yourself of any deep-seated emotions that linger within?

I will definitely be the first to admit that it is not the easiest thing in the world to open up or bare your soul to anyone. In fact, it is easier and faster to just mutter a simple “fine” when asked the usual “how are you?”.

Here are some reasons why opening up may not be your most favourite thing in the world:

1 . Fear of Being Judged/Genuine Intentions: You may be scared of being judged if you open up about what you’re going through or some of your thoughts and feelings. You may also be scared of people rejecting you if they knew parts of you that are not so visible. This may be because you have maintained some level of reputation in your immediate community and you may be concerned that opening up would get you judged. you may also be concerned about the intentions of people who asked you if you are okay regularly.

2. Personality Type: Perhaps you are more of an introvert or a “keep to yourself” kind of person who is usually on their own. You probably do not have much practice opening up or speaking about your feelings. You may have even assumed a certain “personality” to box yourself in so you don’t have to open up to people.

3. Upbringing and parental influence: Another reason why you may struggle with opening up is because maybe growing up, you were not encouraged to talk about your feelings or show any form of emotions considered as “weak”. If you cried or showed sadness, you were probably encouraged to “be strong” or “be a man”. In adulthood, you have therefore subconsciously associated speaking about your feelings or emotions/being expressive with weakness.

4. Fear of uncovering old emotional trauma: You may be terrified of opening you to people about how you’re feeling in the present moment which may be as a result of a trigger of certain traumatic experiences you’ve experienced in the past. Perhaps you’re trying to erase those experiences from your mind and you’re scared that opening up will uncover them.

5.Fear of being vulnerable: Another reason could be that you are scared of being vulnerable or baring your soul to another person. You are scared of someone else having access to your thoughts or emotions and are very guarded. Perhaps you are a very independent person and are not used to being vulnerable emotionally. Or perhaps have opened up to trusted friends or family in the past and they have betrayed your confidence and trust.

The truth is that people who struggle with opening up sometimes crave the positive feelings that come with pouring out thoughts and feelings to a trusted friend or family. If you belong to this category for any or a combination of some of the reasons listed above, here are some practical tips to help you open up. It’s not a guarantee that you’d start opening up immediately, but if these simple tips are practiced with time, there could be some positive results:

Embrace Vulnerability

If you can learn to embrace the vulnerability of being open to others, regardless of how it turns out, you will feel more secure and satisfied in life.
“One way to become more comfortable with vulnerability is to separate your action from the outcome. You can control what you say and whom you open up to, but you can’t control their reaction or what they do. Once you realize that you aren’t responsible for how others behave or react, you may feel more free to open up.”

Vulnerability is not weakness. Seeking help is not weakness.

Remember that you’re not a burden

Often times, we resist opening up to even trusted friends or family members because we do not want to “burden them with” our “problems”. Yes, everyone has what they’re going through at different phases of life, but you are not a burden. Your “problems” are not a burden to those who love you and care about you. You are amazing, special and loved. You do not have to have everything figured out at once and this is why you need to be open to being open (see what I did there?), especially when going through a hard time.

Remember that your feelings/emotions are valid

Whatever you feel at any given time is valid. Society pressures us into having certain feelings/emotions to different phases/experiences in our lives. Remember that your thoughts, feelings are valid and just because someone else might not understand or resonate with them does not make them any less so. Remember this when next you want to shut down the idea of opening up to someone because you feel you might sound “too sensitive” or “too emotional” or like “you’re complaining”.

Be as specific as you can when communicating with others

This may be hard to do at first, but with practice, you can get positive results. When you’re communicating with others, be specific. When someone says to you, “How was your day?” don’t respond with, “Fine. Yours?” Be more open than that. Give details. Provide examples. Share stories. People will feel more connected to you (and will probably share some of their own stories) if you open up to them. Don’t be afraid of details.

Find ways to connect

If you feel that you have a circle of people you cannot open up to for a myriad of reasons, find ways to connect with others. If you take the time to learn about the world, and about others’ views of the world, you’ll have more opportunities to connect with others. Don’t be afraid to share what you know or bring up unusual topics. You’d be surprised how much you might have in common with someone else.

Try Journaling

If you struggle to open up to others about your thoughts and feelings, allowing yourself the freedom to write your thoughts and feelings as the come to you, with no filter, can be very freeing and help you see the benefits of expression.

Journaling is an amazing way to articulate your thoughts more clearly and helps you understand in-depthly how you are feeling at any given time.A short while back, I wrote about how journaling is changing my life and some great benefits of journaling.

In time, you’ll be able to express yourself more clearly to others.

Most importantly, remember that if you’re not used to it, being open with others takes time. When you first begin opening up to people, there will probably be a lot of fumbling and bumbling and trying to figure out what you want to say and how you want to say it.

It is not easy for some people open up and it may take an entire conversation (or many conversations) to really begin connecting with someone on an open level.

Be patient with yourself. Every time you’re open with someone, the door opens a little bit more.

Every little creak of the hinge is progress.

“Being vulnerable means being open, for wounding, but also for pleasure. Being open to the wounds of life means also being open to the bounty and beauty. Don’t mask or deny your vulnerability: it is your greatest asset.”

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Here’s Why You Procrastinate + 6 Practical Tips To Help You Overcome Procrastination


delay or postpone action; put off doing something.
“the temptation will be to procrastinate until the power struggle plays itself out”

delay, put off doing something, postpone action, defer action, be dilatory, use delaying tactics, stall, temporize.

It is no secret that procrastination is a huge enemy of the achievement of goals and dreams. I would know, I almost procrastinated writing and publishing this blog post.

If you’re an avid procrastinator, you’ve probably asked yourself why you procrastinate so much. Then again, you’ve probably procrastinated with coming up with an answer to that question. In the alternative, you may have just given up altogether, accepting your fate and dwelling in your cave of procrastination.

The reality is that sometimes, we do not know why we delay getting things done. You may or may not have accepted the fact that you procrastinate but if you are constantly putting things off or delaying some tasks because “you’re not ready” or “it’s not that good” or you need to “put some finishing touches”, I am here to let you know that you are procrastinating.

Now, here are some reasons why you procrastinate:

Fear of failure or being criticised: This is legit one of the most common reasons why we tend to put off goals or tasks. You may be scared of the outcome, of putting in the work towards a certain goal and coming up short. You may be scared of external judgment or negative criticism that, let’s face it, does not always feel good. Thoughts like “what if it doesn’t work?” “would people like it?” “What if I fail?” “What would people say about this?” constantly plague your mind.

Lack of Motivation: You may delay getting things done because you really do not have the motivation to get them done right now. Or, in simpler terms, you’re not just in the mood.

Mental or Physical Exhaustion: Another possible reason could be that you’re stressed out and are just plain exhausted physically, emotionally and/or mentally. Your brain and/or body cannot take up any more tasks for now and so you keep pushing things that need to be done away.

Overwhelmed: You may have some huge goals and plans that leave you feeling overwhelmed and confused. You do not know where to start so you keep delaying until you “figure it out”.

Indecisiveness: You are indecisive about what goals you want to achieve and keep going back and fourth. You are yet to make a decision and so it’s best to put it off till later until you can “come up with a substantial decision”.

Prioritisation of immediate feelings: You keep choosing how you feel in the moment over the long term results and do not delay gratification. If it makes you feel good now, you’ll do it. This is why you spend more time Netflix and Chilling than actually working towards your goals…and then later complain that you do not have enough time to get things done.

You do not believe in your capabilities: You feel that you are not good enough, not ready or not as qualified as some people seem to be. You keep waiting to be qualified or have the right experience before you take action. So in your opinion, it’s best to “wait till everything is perfect; the timing, your qualification and the tasks themselves“. This is why you keep putting off publishing that book, updating your CV and applying for that job, taking that course or just putting content out there on social media.

Other reasons could be that you’re going through depression, may have an attention deficit disorder and get bored easily or may fear that you will sabotage yourself in working towards your tasks.

If you have admitted to yourself that you procrastinate most times and may very well fall into one of these categories above, then congratulations. That is the first step. It is important that you identify what your “reason” is for procrastinating so that you can effectively deal with it.

So how can you overcome procrastinating? Here are 5 simple ways you can try:

Break huge goals/tasks into smaller tasks: By doing this you’re not as overwhelmed or confused at where you need to start. Break goals down into smaller tasks and the smaller ones into smaller ones. Tackle smaller ones daily and set realistic deadlines for yourself.

Reward yourself for the accomplishment of smaller tasks: Do not wait until you hit a “milestone” or till you achieve a huge goal before you can celebrate. Celebrate little victories and plan to reward yourself for the accomplishment of smaller tasks no matter how insignificant they may seem. This gives you something to look forward to and may give you the much needed motivation to get things done.

Get motivated!: If you lack motivation to get things done right now and stop putting things off, get motivated! External sources of motivation help, but at the end of the day, you are your most valuable asset, so motivate yourself as well! Listen to motivating music, watch inspirational videos, listen to inspirational/motivational podcasts, watch/read about the progress stories or people in your field you admire and surround yourself with like-minded or motivated people.

Identify your most and least productive periods of the day: This would help you with scheduling, planning and strategising on when and how to tackle tasks. It will also help achieve more within a little time. During your most productive periods of the day, eliminate any form of distractions that may threaten to slow you down…basically, turn off your notifications.

Realize that there is no perfect time: Avoid the perfectionist mindset. There is no perfect time. And if there was a perfect time, the perfect time would be now! You do not have to be good enough to start working towards your goals and dreams. Remember that people are learning as they go and are making it.

Develop in your ability to overcome procrastination and achieve your goals: Most importantly, believe in yourself. You are amazing and can achieve whatever you put your mind to. Stop doubting yourself and your capabilities. Stop talking down to yourself or waiting to be the smartest in the room.

One of the most important things I’m learning right now, which may be of benefit to you, is that my worth is not tied to my achievements.

You are still worthy even if you do nothing.

So when you take that big leap and people judge, give their feedback or criticism, remember to separate it from you. It is the work they criticise, not you.

So what are you waiting for? Get to work!

I hope this was helpful in some way. Let me know why you procrastinate in the comments and if you’re working on overcoming, let me know what you do to overcome procrastination!

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How Journaling is Changing My Life + 6 Amazing Benefits of Keeping a Journal

Writing has always been a great purge for me.

As far back as I can remember, I have always loved expressing my thoughts in words, to the best of my ability, I must add…because sometimes, my crazy imagination cannot be put into simple words. LOL. So writing has always come easy to me and with time, I found that I did quite well expressing myself and articulating my thoughts with words.

I had always been a “journal-keeper” at different stages of my life, if there is such a word. Of course, at some point, I fell into the “Dear Diary” phase that plagues most female pre-teens/teenagers where I would whisper untold secrets to my diary (the type that came with a little gold padlock and key in its edge) with words, feeling confident that the padlock kept my deepest darkest secrets safe from the world. Plis, what secrets?

LOL. Youthful innocence.

Some months ago, I started Journaling intentionally and its benefits have been too great not to share. “Journaling generally involves the practice of keeping a journal that explores thoughts and feelings surrounding the events of your life.”

Whichever type of journal you choose to keep (gratitude, goals, ideas, values, experiences, curiosity or a combination of all), journaling and writing down your thoughts, feelings and emotions in different moments is guaranteed to give great scientifically researched benefits.

Journaling has become an integral part of my daily routine (I do this 3-5 minutes everyday, some days are longer). After the last sentence, whatever it may be, I drop my pen on my paper feeling somewhat satisfied, purged and more aware of myself, my emotions or what I am feeling at that point. I am then able to connect with myself in ways I may not be able to do through out the day (if journaling in the morning) or may not have done through out the day (if journaling at night.

I am really excited to share some of these simply changing and amazing benefits of journaling with you. They include:

Journaling reduces stress and anxiety

ARRGGHHH! I cannot over emphasize this enough! Journaling has helped to greatly reduce stress and anxiety in different aspects of my life. You find that writing about frustration, anger, sadness and other painful emotions helps to release the intensity of these feelings. By journaling your emotions and thoughts, especially when they are not so great, you tend to feel calmer and better able to stay in the present.

In the moments where I have felt overwhelmed with some challenges, putting pen to paper, even if not having the right words, has helped reduce any anxiety or stress felt at the time.

Clarifies thoughts and gives perspective

Another benefit of journaling is that it helps you prioritize, clarify thinking, and accomplish your most important tasks, over urgent busy work. Journaling has definitely helped me clarify what I need and desire in various aspects of my life.

By writing down your thoughts routinely, you get to know what makes you feel happy and confident. You also become clear about situations and people who are toxic for you — important information for your emotional well-being. You become clear about who you are as a person, why you feel the way you do in certain circumstances and how you can apply yourself to become the best version of yourself.

“Thinking in writing has this magical quality of clarifying your thoughts.”

Furthermore, journaling also helps to reframe your personal narrative and gives you a fresh perspective on people, experiences, things and lessons learned. By reflecting on your thoughts and experiences, you are, in effect, telling your own story. Journaling therefore helps to find new meaning and perspectives in these narratives.

Emotional release

Journaling serves as a medium to release your emotions on paper; when you are happy, sad, pained, angry, frustrated, sober or just feeling grateful, writing down your thoughts and expressing how you feel can be a great way to release your emotions.

When we are going through certain emotions, we find that we either want to speak to someone trustworthy about it or just shutdown completely and drown in our thoughts. Journaling serves as an effective way of purging intense emotions that may be raging deep within you so you do not implode or explode over little things.

Encourages mindfulness and self awareness

For me, this has to be one of the most amazing benefits of keeping a journal. By consciously articulating and writing down my thoughts, experiences and emotions at different moments, I have become more mindful of who I am at my core, the decisions I take and the impact these decisions have on me. I am also becoming more aware of my self ; my temperaments, likes, dislikes, wants, needs and so on.

Increases Gratitude and encourages healing

Often enough, I try to write down things I am grateful for. This could be difficult especially if going through a tough time. However, by writing down at least one thing, you become aware of the fact that life is not just composed of unfortunate events and it encourages you to maintain a positive attitude to life.

In addition, journaling helps healing through difficult moments. By consciously writing down your experiences, lessons learned and your feelings about these experiences, you are able to heal through these tough times. By writing and repeating affirmations, you are able to take control of your thought process and focus on healing and not suffering.

Self-discipline and achievement of goals

Needless to say, journaling helps to boost self-discipline and the achievement of goals. By constantly writing down your goals, how you feel about attaining them and the best ways you can achieve them while staying true to yourself, you learn to discipline yourself and can achieve goals set out in various aspects of your life. You are able to track your progress and look back on what you could have done better.

What if I writing is not my thing?

A typical question that comes up on journaling is “What if writing is not my thing?”. To this, I simply say “Then make it your thing!”

The benefits of journaling are just too great and impactful for you to box yourself into only what your thing is. As human beings, we are constantly growing, evolving, learning, unlearning and changing. Allow yourself to evolve and welcome new things/routines that are guaranteed to boost your mental health.

So how can you start?

Your journal does not have to be anything fancy. Just a simple notebook and pen would do. I would definitely recommend journaling the traditional way with a pen and paper and not on your phone. Psychologists have determined that writing things out by hand improves memory and encourages deeper thinking and reflection.

Your words do not have to be perfect or sound like a perfectly crafted novel. You are not writing for the Pulitzer Prize in Fiction. No one is going to read your journal. Also, there are no right words. Just let your thoughts flow on paper.

In addition, it is important that you schedule time to journal, especially when you are attempting to make it a part of you. 3 to 5 minutes daily or every other day is okay at first or however long you find yourself writing words on paper.

And if you find yourself glaring at a blank page with a pen tightly clenched between you fingers for the longest time with nothing to write, start by writing down 5 things you are grateful for or 5 important lessons you have learned in the past week/month. Or simply write an open and honest letter to yourself, or perhaps a loved one you have been meaning to connect with or even a loved one lost.

I hope this was helpful for you. If you have started journaling, please share with me in the comment section, the benefits you have gained or hope to gain from keeping a journal!

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These 5 Podcasts Have Changed My Life!

I was never really a fan of podcasts and did not at anytime feel compelled to join the “Podcasts Train”. I was content with watching and listening to content I resonated with on Youtube and discovering new channels there (I do not watch a lot of Television on purpose…more on that in another blog post).

So although I would scroll through my social media, reading testimonies of avid podcasts listeners and how the content they subscribed to had been life-changing, I would share in their excitement for five seconds a move on. Podcasts were just “not my thing”.

Fast forward to the recently where for the past five or six months, I have found a way to inculcate listening to these amazing podcasts in my morning routine (LOL, I say “morning routine” as if I have some serious ritual I undergo in the mornings, but you get the general idea). Anyway, let’s just say I’m glad that I hopped on that train.

These five podcasts have changed my way of thinking and my life in general:

  1. Cleaning Up The Mental Mess with Dr. Caroline Leaf

Anyone who knows me, knows I am really passionate about psychology and mental health. I love this woman and her amazing podcast!

Dr. Caroline Leaf is a cognitive neuroscientist with a PhD in Communication Pathology and a BSc in Logopedics and Audiology, specializing in metacognitive and cognitive neuropsychology. Her passion is to help people see the power of the mind and the link between science and God as a tangible way of controlling their thoughts and emotions, learning how to think and learn and finding their sense of purpose in life.

So far, I have learned so much just by listening to Dr. Leaf’s podcast every week. I have learned about the mind-brain connection, how to manage/reduce stress and anxiety, tips to prevent and overcome mental burnout, how to use mindfulness and deal with a crisis in the heat of the moment, tips to deal with performance anxiety and overcome mental blocks, how to deal with difficult people and tips to protect your mental health while dealing with difficult people and a whole lot more!

Most importantly, I love the fact that she provides practical, straight-to-the-point and useful tips that one can apply to take care of his/her mental health.

You can subscribe to Dr. Leaf’s podcast here.

2. On Purpose with Jay Shetty

Arrghh!! JAY SHETTY! This is one wise man beyond his years. I cannot get enough of his profound truths. His podcasts drop every three to four days and I am in love with the content I receive on there.

Jay Shetty is an award-winning host, storyteller and viral content creator. Since launching his video channel in 2016, Jay’s viral wisdom videos have garnered over 4 billion views and gained over 20 million followers globally. This makes him one of the most viewed people on the internet internationally. After meeting a monk when he was 18, Jay started redefining success for himself. He now wanted a life of service, impact and passion as opposed to money, fame and power.

After graduating with a 1st class BSc (Hons) Degree in Behavioral Science from Cass Business School, inspired to make a difference in the world, at 22 Jay went to live as a monk across India and Europe. He traded his suits for robes, shaved his head and lived out of a gym locker for 3 years. He now shares the valuable lessons he learned from his monkhood as well as valuable lessons. Jay’s stated goal is to make wisdom go viral as he spreads his message of motivation and positivity.

On his podcast, he typically has guests with whom he discusses important issues on a wide range of topics such as learning how to define success for yourself and set your goals, being open about mental health, healthy ways to heal, getting in touch with yourself, disconnecting and gaining clarity, ways to gracefully deal with rejection, creating healthier food habits, finding purpose and aligning with it and so so much more!

You can check out Jay Shetty’s podcast here

3. The Robin Sharma Master Sessions


If you have read any of this man’s books, you’ll have just an idea why I am in love with him and his wisdom.

Robin Sharma is a writer, best known for his The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari book series. He worked as a litigation lawyer until age 25, when he self-published MegaLiving, a book on stress management and spirituality. Perhaps I am biased towards him because of his background in law, but this man speaks golden truths.

Robin imparts so much wisdom on topics on Leadership and Personal Mastery such as leadership values, learning how to get comfortable alone, learning how to produce your masterwork, beating distractions, rising above hard times, practical tools to recover your focus, protecting your energy and so much more. His calm soothing voice is an added bonus!

You can check out Robin Sharma’s podcast here.

4. Kwik Brain with Jim Kwik

Jim kwik is a world expert in speed-reading, memory improvement, and optimal brain performance. He is the CEO and Founder of Kwik Learning, a leader in accelerated learning with online students of every age and vocation in over 150 countries. He is also a keynote speaker, trainer and advisor.

Jim Kwik’s podcast majorly provides “bite-sized brain hacks for busy people who want to learn faster and achieve more.” I have learned a lot listening to this podcast every other three days. Jim shares on tips such as tips to sleep better, how to use your power to get what you want, how to read more books and learn to read faster, how to overcome stress and relieve pressure (he did an amazing episode with Jay Shetty on this), tips on mastering habits, healing emotional wounds, how to make better choices in life, fighting mental fatigue and so on! ARGGHH!! I’ve learned a lot!

I think the interesting about Jim’s story is that he was known as the “boy with the broken brain. ” A childhood head injury at age five left him struggling in school. For a while, he even believed I could never be as good as other kids when it came to learning. As the years wore on, Jim undertook a journey to learn about his brain – why it was broken and what he could do to fix it. That journey led him to discovering different learning habits, including accelerated learning systems and tactics.

Jim shares that he discovered that, no matter the circumstances, we can rebuild our brains. And after working on himself, he realized my brain was not broken…it just needed a better owner’s manual. This shattered his own limiting beliefs – and over time, it became his passion to help others do the same.

You can check out Jim Kwik’s podcast here.

Tom Bilyeu is an American entrepreneur best known as the co-founder of Quest Nutrition, the second-fastest growing private company in North America on the In. 5000 for 2014.

Impact Theory is a business and mindset-focused interview show that will teach anyone aspiring to greatness the secrets to success. Tom Bilyeu hosts the show and is known for his passion and preparation. He tends to dig deep and brings the urgency of someone who is hungry to put what he’s learning to immediate use.

I have learned so much from this podcast such as how to become decisive in the face of paralysing fear, how to stop negative behaviour and strengthen your mind, how to achieve a calm state, how to take a social media break or quit social media together and master focus and so much!

You can check out Tom Bilyeu’s podcast here.

These podcasts relate to topics I am passionate about. You can find a host of podcasts on topics you are passionate about where you can learn so much!

And if podcasts are not “your thing”, then I challenge you to try something new today! You’ll be surprised at what you may find!

What podcasts are you currently listening to?

P.S, From 5th August 2019, I’ll be sending out life-changing, straight-to-the point and concise weekly emails guaranteed to help start your week right! Click the link here to sign up so you don’t miss out on anything! https://mailchi.mp/06750630c287/weeklyemails

Adulting 101: What Growing Up Is Teaching Me

See ehn, this adulting thing na wa. Please who else is tired?

Remember when all we wanted to do was grow up? It simply is the funniest thing how at the time, we could not grow up fast enough. We were tired of people treating us like kids and were always quick to point out that we were not children anymore. LOOOL.

I remember sitting for hours, pained; you know the kind of pain that hurts deep where you want to cry but the tears do not roll out, because you have just been treated like a “child” and all you wanted to do was take control of your life without any restrictions or boundaries? Yeah that pain. I felt that pain one too many times. I would be up for most of the night plotting and scheming how my best years would be once I became an adult and there was no one to tell me what to do.

Growing up, the “tomboy” in me hated the fact that my church clothes had to be picked out for me by my mom. I just wanted to wear my pant trousers and kito sandals not girly dresses and shoes. I wanted to wear my kito sandals everywhere! I would cry and wish I was grown up just so I could wear my kito sandals. “When I’m grown up, I would wear my kito sandals everywhere!” I would think to myself. LOL.

I would sit and stare at the wall for hours as if by some magical happening, I would suddenly be 25 drowning in a pile of jeans pant trousers and kito sandals…and I would look forward to the day I was old enough to dress how I wanted, act how I wanted, go where I wanted without any curfew…

Bills? What did that mean then? I really cannot stop laughing in my right now as I write this.

😅Who else is laughing and crying at themselves now?

Now, sometimes when I get overwhelmed, I sit and stare at the wall for some minutes (because there’s no time to stare for hours) as if by some magical happening, time would suddenly reverse itself and I would find myself back in my childhood waking up from sleep to go “Wow, so it was all a dream?!Welp.

Nowadays, we are all just trying to figure it out, aren’t we? And the truth is, the older we get, the kinder and more accepting we tend to get of the older generation because now, we can understand better why they did certain things they did or did not do certain things.

We realize that life is just what it is; life…with all its ups and downs, lessons and experiences, excitements and disappointments. We realize that nothing really prepares anyone for life and the cards they are dealt. You find yourself here on whatever part of the planet you are birthed (without your permission, I might add) and you make it work!

The truth is at the end of the day, no one person has all the perfect answers on how life works; relationships, career, faith, marriage, parenting and so on. Everyone is just figuring it out on the go, even the life coaches! So, while it is easy to look at the older generation and expect them to have all the answers or be A1 in our books in their marriages, parenting styles or just life in general, I realize now that they were also just figuring life out in terms of the cards they were dealt and acting based on all they knew. Naturally, they were bound to make mistakes as they went along and most likely still do.

Anyone that knows me personally knows that an element of life that I have fallen in love with and come to deeply appreciate is Growth. I love growth and what it brings; growth in different facets of life and the opportunity life gives to be able to look back and recognize growth. And in growth, there are lessons learned.

Some of the lessons adulthood is teaching me are:

Life is in stages

This is one tough lesson I have learned and am still learning. Life comes in stages and phases which you are not allowed to dwell in for too long at a time. By entering into the world, even though without your consent, you have signed the terms and conditions of life. You have to get an education, then graduate, then get a job or have a profitable source of income, be financially independent, get married (if you choose), have kids (if you choose) and retire (if you choose).

Each of these stages come with experiences, lessons, friendships, and probably relationships that may be difficult to let go of. In moving from one stage to the other, you may have to move halfway across the world to a new country, build new friendships and experience life on your own terms.

Sometimes, it is hard to let elements of the past go when we desperately want to hang on to it. Some of us refuse to let go of our childhood fantasies or lifestyles and we find ourselves seeking comfort and laughter in cartoons or childlike experiences because we are then reminded of the absolutely priceless feeling that comes with such.

I remember when at some point, my sister and I (being just the two children) would spend almost every minute of our lives together, fighting and making up and fighting some more (over everything!). When she got married and started her cute little family, it was really hard letting go of our past lives and realizing that each person has a path to follow. All I wanted to do most times was go back to when we would fight over why the room light should or should not be off at 9pm. Now, we are both trying to figure out life individually (still maintaining a close relationship) but from different angles and in different cities.

And the same goes for life. We cannot deny that life comes in stages up until death. In growing, we learn that not all relationships or friendships are made to last but each stage of life presents learning opportunities and experiences that can be treasured. Granted, moving from one stage to the other can be difficult, but these stages are a part of life and the sooner you accept and learn to love them for what they are and what they bring, the easier it becomes to experience life to the fullest.

Additionally, a very important aspect of recognizing that life is in stages is in in learning to be patient through each stage and trusting the process. We often compare ourselves with others; we compare our worth (not necessarily net worth), our values, talents, progress and growth to that of others and we are miserable because we only see their accomplishments while managing to lose focus of ours. We want it all and we want it all now. BUT we must recognize that some of these stages are time sensitive and patience is required.

We constantly have to remind ourselves that social media only captures the highlights reels of one’s life and not the behind-the-scenes. Don’t get caught up in your desire to “arrive” at the final destination. Enjoy each stage and the experiences it brings. “The joy is in the climb”.

Do it scared!

This is worth the ponder:

“What would you do if fear no longer stood in your way? What would happen if you were no longer afraid to dive in, head first and go after your dreams, live your visions and realize your purpose? What would you do if you had no limitations?

Doing it scared is one of the most profound lessons I am learning from adulthood. Wow. Think of how many things you desire to do but have pulled the plug on because of fear.

The truth is sometimes it is easy to give in to fear or to procrastinate on our dreams and goals because of fear. We often let fear captivate our heart and thoughts. We find ourselves being consumed by only all the negative “what if’s”. “What if I fail?” “What if it goes wrong?” “What if they mock me?“What if I cannot do it?”

How about from today, we start asking ourselves “What if this works? What if this goes right?” “What if I can accomplish this and what if I’m successful at this?” “What do I stand to learn from this?” How about if and/or when we fail, we choose to fail forward, seeing the failures as learning opportunities and bounce back no matter how tough it may be?

It is said a lot that “Everything you want is on the other side of fear” and I believe it. It’s funny how once you overcome the fear and get into what you desire, you later realise there was really nothing to be scared of in the first place. BUT then the next time you find yourself trying something new, fear creeps up again and consumes you to the point you feel stagnant! I guess it just goes to show that fear is something we constantly have to battle especially in figuring out different aspects of our lives.

“He has not learned the first lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson

Adulthood does not seem to make it any easier because life presents so many choices and opportunities. Not knowing where to stick your head or if where you want to stick your head will work out can cause you to just maintain a more or less seemingly auto pilot approach to life. Learning to do things scared however, will ultimately give you an upper hand in life.

Trust me when I say, a whole lot of people on this planet are doing things scared everyday; not knowing whether or not it would work out. Most times, we only see the success stories and not the behind-the-scenes. You do not have to wait for the perfect time or to be “good enough” before you take that first step.

In this stage of life, I am learning to do things scared, to put myself out there more and to let my little light shine in whatever way I possibly can. Some days are tougher than the others, but I keep reminding myself “How would you know if this would work if you don’t try?” It is not alway easy but I am willing to try.

So, while adulting, go out there, believe in yourself and make stuff happen! And…

The reality…

The truth is navigating one’s life during his/her 20s and 30s can be pretty nerve-racking, overwhelming and sometimes downright confusing and discouraging. In one way or the other, we are still trying to figure out so much all at once. We are taking risks, failing, getting rejected, knocked down and bouncing back up everyday. We are making life decisions that could ultimately make us or break us. Sometimes it gets too much to handle and we find that some people tend to quit life all together.

BUT we are trying our very best and we will make it!

What is adulthood teaching you? Kindly share in the comments!

The second part of this two part series sharing lessons I am learning from Adulthood will be up next week Saturday so look out for it.

P.S, From 5th August 2019, I’ll be sending out life-changing, straight-to-the point and concise weekly emails guaranteed to help start your week right! Click the link here to sign up so you don’t miss out on anything! https://mailchi.mp/06750630c287/weeklyemails