Breaking Boundaries

Happy New Year everyone!!
Before I start, I just want to say that 2018 is going to be a great, great year for us all! Dreams would come true, goals would be accomplished and great things would be achieved by us all! We can only get better and we would get better.
That being said, as we usher in a new and amazing year, I would be discussing on breaking boundaries. Much importance is placed on creating boundaries in various aspects of our lives to enable us achieve what we truly want in life, However, I would be discussing on the different types of mental boundaries we consciously or subconsciously place our minds in that prevent us from reaching out goals and enjoying mental freedom. I would also be sharing on breaking these mental boundaries and some tips for releasing our minds from any mental boundaries we may currently find ourselves “trapped” in with the acronym R.E.L.E.A.S.E. I hope someone reading this finds it useful.
Mental boundaries.
The bars of depression, anxiety, fear, doubt, worry and constant negative mindwars seldom imprison our minds subconsciously. With each passing day, these bars get thicker and stronger and  while we fight to break free, we find ourselves holding on to them. We allow ourselves to get eaten up by depression, bitterness, worry and fear and this prevents us from being able to move on, forge ahead or achieve great things. The constant worries or feelings of “not being good enough” prevent us from believing in our abilities to do anything. Most times, we fear things the outcome of things that may never happen or are worried about things that we have no control over. We doubt that things would work out in our favor or that we can actually accomplish what we have set out to do. We subconsciously build a nest of negativity which we live in and remain comfortable in because to be positive is to have hope and to have hope requires

Leon Brown once said “It all begins and ends in your mind. What you give power to, has power over you, if you allow it.” So imagine a mind that feels powerless to achieve anything, a mind that desperately sees dreams coming true beyond its reach but is out of its grasp, a mind that is stuck in its own prison and refuses to break down the bars that prevent it from being positive or achieving its goals. If we give power to negativity,  negativity will have power over us if we allow it. If we give power to depression, to fear, to doubt, to worry, to anxiety, they will have power over us if we allow it. 

And now to breaking free… I’ve learned that instead of constantly banging on the bars of the mind prison for us to be set free, all we need to do is to reach in and R. E.L.E.A.S.E ourselves from these bars. We each possess the key to releasing ourselves from these mental boundaries. I’ll share some of these keys below.

R- Release
E – Empower your mind
L – Let go
E- Encourage others
A- Allow for mistakes
S – Stay positive

E- Explore freedom

The first step to breaking free from the mental boundaries which may currently seem to prevent you from reaching your goals is to first decide that you want to Release  your mind from such boundaries. Decide that you want to be free from fear, from negativity, from worry over things you cannot control, from anxiety and any form of fear. Each morning, awake with a mindset of releasing your mind from these boundaries. In your quiet times (and if you do not have anywhere you can be by yourself and just allow your thoughts to bounce around and take control of them, I encourage that you do) practice releasing your mind from any form of negativity and utter words of affirmation to reinforce this. Release your mind from those seemingly overpowering thoughts that seem to have so much control over you. Remember, they can only have control if you allow them.

Ensure your mind is being fed the right food to enable it get stronger and more confident. Remember, garbage in, garbage out. What we feed our minds with affect us a whole lot. Be careful not to be constantly surrounded with negativity. Even “joking negativity” I have found, does not really help. Feed your mind on things that would help you become better, stronger, more active and that will enable you break these boundaries. Watch positive video clips, watch movies that teach life changing lessons, have meaningful conversations and so on.

Learn to let go of certain things. Of hurt, of pain, of some things that are and things that may never be. Of the past, of mistakes, of missed opportunities and other things we desperately cling on to that prevent us from moving forward. Sometimes we dwell so much on the past and purposely refuse to let go of certain thoughts, bitterness or even pain from our past. Sometimes, we refuse to let go until because we feel we need some form of closure forgetting that closure does not always happen in every situation. In fact, in most situations, closure may not necessarily go the way you envisioned in your mind which leaves you more clingy to what you were trying to let go of in the first place.

So, let go.  You will actually feel lighter.

Encouraging others and being kind to others is another key to help us break free from mental boundaries. By doing this, you come out of your mind and are more outward focused than inward focused. You’re not consumed with your own thoughts which could be overwhelming and negative if you allow them. Instead, in encouraging others, you subconsciously find yourself being positive about things, because well, how can you encourage another with negativity or worry or fear or doubt. It also builds up your confidence in believing that you can actually make another human being feel better. Try it this week.

Remember that you are human and mistakes are bound to happen. You are not defined by your mistakes or opportunities lost. In my last post, while sharing on some of the lessons I learned this year, I discussed a little on expecting to fail. You can read that here. Allow for those mistakes while learning from them.. Refuse to be held back by a mistake. Sometimes we subconsciously allow mistakes made to determine our abilities. Sometimes, we feel that once we have failed at something, we can not do it again. Believe in you.

STAY POSITIVE!! Feed your mind with positive things, surround yourself with positive people, enjoy positive vibes only.

Most importantly, explore mental freedom. Allow your mind to be set free from these mental boundaries. Allow yourself to experience that mental freedom for a change.

Thank you for reading! I would love to hear any comments, feedback or questions you may have.

Kindly send an email to and have a great weekend!

Lessons from 2017!!

2017 is finally coming to an end!!! Whoop Whoop!!
I’m super duper excited! Can you tell?
This year has been all sorts of amazing! The good, the great, the not-so-good and the downright discouraging. It’s been one huge rollercoaster but one that I’m super grateful for. For me, the year 2017 has been full of so so much; from expectations at the beginning of the year, to realizing certain dreams and taking baby steps in the right direction, to conquering fears and growing in various aspects of life, to unexpected blows and disappointments, to establishing new and exciting relationships, to the random numerous blessings and exciting moments. I can go on and on!!
But I think one of the most important things I have appreciated this past year are the lessons learned from life’s experiences as well as from amazing people in my life. I will be sharing some of and I hope we can pick one or two things from these lessons and also be encouraged as well.

1. Just get started

Clearly, this was one of my biggest lessons this past year since I put up a whole post about it. If you haven’t read that, you can here. But it really helped me appreciate a whole lot about life. I’ve learned that no matter how small or big a dream may be, the most important step is just to take a step. How would you know if that dream is for you or not if you do not? Sometimes, things seem so far from us when they are merely within our reach and all we have to do is reach out and grab it. I know that for me, there were quite a number of fears I had to conquer even with starting this blog (the observant folks will notice I have been registered in blogger since early 2016) but never really came around to posting any content. I know some of us may have read that first post and were pumped to just get started on that dream or activity and with time, the “ginger” died down again but I am here to remind us again, especially with 2018 in view. Maybe you’re one of those that write down your resolutions (which I’m coming to in my next lesson below) or maybe you’re not but if you have that dream that you want to accomplish in the next year, the only way would be to get started.
One thing I’ve learned is that getting started is not the hardest task. The hardest task is to keep going. To keep going during the discouraging moments, to keep going during the moments filled with doubts, to keep going when life deals you unfair cards and to keep going when it doesn’t seem like something good might come out of where you are presently. I, for one, have been faced with a lot of challenges since I started this blog and sometimes (and I don’t know if anyone can relate to this) it feels like you were just chilling in your comfort zone but the minute you decide to take a leap of faith and do something, so many challenges spring up and want to eat you alive. But that I’ve learned that to keep going is key. As Harriet Stowe once said “Never give up, for that is just the place and time that the tide will turn.”
Never stop trying. Never stop believing in yourself. Never quit. You can do it. 2018 will be a  great year.

2. Write things down
So this seems like a basic enough lesson to learn but this was something I deeply learned and appreciated in 2017 not only because it helped me remember vital things but the fact that there’s something about putting pen to paper; be it aspirations, short term goals, long term goals, notes from messages, things not to forget, people to call or message and so on. There’s something pretty amazing, I’ve learned, about putting things down on paper and later ticking them off when accomplished. I also found that it reminded me of things that I was yet to accomplish and there was always this thing nudging at me to get stuff done when I saw them written down but not ticked off.
So maybe going forward, you can try writing stuff down, especially if you’re one of those “I have it in my head, I’m good” kind of people. Not that there’s nothing wrong with keeping things in your head, but I figured that with daily distractions, hustling and bustling everywhere, even uncertainties and fears that may creep up out of the blues, sometimes it gets hard to keep track of long term goals and progress with respect to short term goals or even daily goals. Sometimes, creative ideas or pointers may come to you in an unexpected instant and may vanish the very next if they are not put down  in writing. And if you think you’ll be able to pull it out of your head much later when you’re lying down or relaxed, chances are it may not happen. So, write them down. Oh, and if I may add, you stand nothing to lose by writing things down. Helps with organization as well. Yes?
“Write down the thoughts of the moment. Those that come unsought for are commonly the most valuable.”- Francis Bacon
3. Expect to fail
So this lesson was one of my biggest this year and I remember when someone dear to me said it and I thought “huh? why should I expect to fail when I want to expect to win all the time?” and then it was explained to me clearer and having pondered further, I realize that expecting to fail is an ironically positive mindset to have. I understood that by accepting that there is a possibility of failing at something I do, I subconsciously admit to myself that I do not know everything but am constantly learning and finding new and improved ways of doing everything.
Of course, failure is not a word anyone wants to be associated with, but by understanding that before I succeed, I may try a number of times at something and fail, I learn not to dwell on the failure when it occurs because I understand that I am an imperfect human being undergoing a continuing learning process. By doing this, I also expect the possibility of failure in advance and keep a positive mindset even when it happens and am able to bounce back faster that someone who must have rejected the whole concept of failure as not being applicable to them.
This mentality does not mean that one should not expect to win or expect to have things work in their favour, but I have learned that it just makes you humble and better prepared for any adverse situations that may arise in realizing your dreams.  So I stay positive and expect the best as well as understand that I may not get it right the first time around. As we forge ahead into the new year, we definitely should expect that the very best will come our way. However, leave room for mistakes, learning experiences, imperfections, growth and self improvement and development.

4. You’re not an island
Well you’ve obviously we’ve all heard the “no man is an island” oldies’ song (yup, I am that old). It’s really not just a song anyway. I learned this so so much this past year. We are not here to exist on our own. I guess that’s why we have family and friends and other acquaintances in our lives. Sometimes, we get lost on trying to figure things out stuff on our own that we shut others out and get so comfortable in our own worlds. We don’t check up on friends and family and just assume everyone understands because work is stressful and you “cannot come and go and die” by keeping in touch with the “whole world”. I figured it’s more than that. It’s about connecting with people and about being a source of inspiration or encouragement to others. Life is not just about hustling and trying to make ends meet. A simple phone call might make someone’s day in ways money might not (if you also want to give money please do. Money makes people happy too. LOL). But yeah, the phone call. Yes. Do that.
On the other part of it, I reposted a video on my instagram not too long ago about a deer that was stuck on  ice sheet and tried effortlessly to move but it could not because the ice was slippery and its hooves( or what they have) would not balance on the ice to help it walk out of there. Apparently, deers do not ice skate. But the deer kept on trying and fighting trying to stand up but would just keep slipping and falling until some man came over with a machine to help push it onto land. Even when the deer heard the sound of help coming, it still kept on trying to find its way and stand by itself (even though the deer might have been afraid of the machine anyway).The lesson I took from that was sometimes we’re too busy trying to do things ourselves that even when people offer us help, we can’t see it and so we want to do it ourselves. Sometimes we don’t allow ourselves to be helped by others for fear of feeling like we owe them something in return or we are obligated to them.
Remember, you’re not an island.

5. Don’t Dwell
So this was a major one I had to learn this past year. Not dwelling on misfortunes. It really taught me a whole lot. We say it a lot and encourage ourselves by it and decide not to dwell on misfortunes or unfortunate events in our lives but sometimes we do not know how much we can be caught up doing this until something not-so-great happens to us.
I learned that things happen for a reason and most times, in unfortunate events, all we might be able to do is take the lessons to be learned from the situation and just forge ahead. Really, what else can you do but to keep going and keep moving. Dwelling on the not-so-great things or being hard on yourself after mistakes have been made or dwelling in the past of what could have been or dwelling on what may never happen really never makes anything better. It definitely would not make you feel better. There’s nothing positive that comes from it anyway and time wasted on feeling bad can never be gotten back.
Remember, you cannot start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one.

6. Indecision is the worst decision

Another major lesson I learned from someone dear to me was on making and taking decisions in life. Sometimes, we have what some call “analysis paralysis” where we over-analyse certain decisions that we plan to take and end up not even taking any decision. Why not just take a decision and stick by it?

Sometimes, we fear the results of taking certain decisions in various aspects of our lives, so much so that we refrain from taking those decisions and remain in our comfort zones for  long time. I’ve figured that when faced with decisions, think carefully, don’t dwell, make that decision and see it through!

7. Believe in You!

This was perhaps the  biggest lesson I learned this past year. I definitely found myself growing in the aspect of believing more and having faith in myself. In doing this, I was able to conquer a lot of my fears and do away with negative thinking. I’ve figured that most times, when faced with a task or challenge, it’s not really that we do not posses the skills or knowledge on how to go about it, it’s just that we doubt ourselves so much that we get paralysed by the doubt and fear. We subconsciously believe that we cannot or are not able to do what is before us and the molehill appears to be a mountain.

It is often said that “we are only as powerful as our minds” and rightly so because the first step to being able to achieve anything is believing that we can. So whatever it is you’re passionate about accomplishing this 2018, first believe that you can and you’ll be well on your way! Take a leap of faith and believe in yourself and your abilities as well as your potential! Never let self-doubt keep you from realizing that which you’ve always wanted to achieve. Believe that you can and you will!

Remember, “They conquer who believe they can.”

Thank you for reading! 2018 is going to be a great year!

Don’t stop!

For the times you feel like you’ve seen it all
When the chips are down and your back is hard pressed against life’s prickly wall
When your world seems to never stop spinning
And deeper still in life’s waters, you find yourself drowning

For the times your mind plays truant and races off on a journey to your past
Dwelling on mistakes made, time wasted and opportunities lost
When you long for the realization of a dream and the moment you can kick back and exclaim “At last!”
But the parts of the dream all seem to fall apart at your feet and scatter like dust

For the times you feel as though you’ve constantly been left behind
Only as if to most of life’s opportunities, you’ve been inexplicably blind
When you feel as though by life’s stormy wind you’ve been tossed and turned
And by her glistening red hot coals, your feet are constantly burned

For the times you try to stifle back the never ending tears
Filled with disappointments, setbacks and soul searing pain
When you desperately cling on to hope but all you see before you is nothing but your fears…
And all your hard work, perseverance and efforts all seem to be in vainFor the times you have to fight the persistent battles within and without

And you seldom find yourself in the bondage and prison of sin, but cannot seem to get out
And all that seems right in the world is just to give in and partake
Only to keep reminding yourself that someone died for your sakeFor the times you took a chance, a risk, a leap of faith
But fell down flat on your face

And the times you took another chance and failed…again
And another…. and failed

And for the times you feel like you’ve had enough
And are tired of giving it the “last shot”
For the times you feel like giving up,

Don’t stop, don’t stop, don’t stop….

Trusting the Process.

“What we are waiting for is not as important as what happens to us while we are waiting. Trust the process.” 

– Mandy Hale

A good number of us reading this have experienced most of the stages in life and are currently in one stage or another. From infancy, to adolescence, to teenage-hood to adulthood, to taking on responsibilities, getting jobs, to getting married and having children and to even retirement in old age- the stages seem to keep coming one after the other. There is always something new to look forward to in life or something we are waiting for to happen.
An amazing phenomenon about life that I have come to recognize is the insatiety of man and his continuous quest for greatness. Most of us never get to a point where we just sit down, cross our legs and feel like we have arrived. Instead, there is always this constant hunger and drive inherent in almost every human to become a better and more developed version of themselves. There is this sense of pride we feel when we can look back and confidently say that we are not where we used to be in some particular aspect of our lives. So with each passing day, we continue to push ourselves; physically, mentally, financially, spiritually and intellectually to become better and better knowing that even when we become the best, we would still want to strive to become better than the best.
And in pushing, it is quite easy to get so enveloped and overwhelmed in the process and all its little achievements that we need to accomplish to get where we want to be. In pushing, it becomes even easier to become ungrateful and impatient control freaks wanting to take charge of the whole process and speed it up “just a little bit” so we can be where we want to be as soon as possible forgetting that there is only so much we have control over. 
Then there is this huge headless worm called Society. Sometimes, Society is not particularly bothered about what you are trying to achieve in life in your own little way. However, Society is there ever present and ever breathing down your neck, ready to remind you everyday that you need to just take a look around and realize that you are not where you are supposed to be (as if Society knows where you are supposed to be in life at every given time). Society is there to set and impose its own goals on you so you subconsciously adopt them as yours; own a car before 25, become a millionaire before 30, for the women, get married before 30 (because by 27, all the men on  planet earth would have finished and you have to move to mars and even the men on mars would be like “neh”), build your own house before 40, become a serial entrepreneur before 28 (even if you do not like it or love your 9-5 job and you are doing great things there and on the side. No. You must become an entrepreneur because you are poor when you only have a 9-5 job even if it pays really well. I’m not talking of multiplying one’s source of income), wedding goals, best friend goals, couple goals, boyfriend goals, girlfriend goals, mommy goals, daddy goals, children goals, money goals, car goals, house goals, “goals” goals (because how dare you have goals that are not goals). Na wa.
So we subconsciously adopt these Society-imposed goals as ours (some of which are not so bad, I may add) and find that in time, we forget all about our own process and become impatient, frustrated and annoyed that things are not going how society says they should go, not how we want them to go. We forget that our process is not the same as the next person’s and our end may not be theirs. We forget that it is possible to have a different success story from the next person and the joy of being unique is in having your own story to share. 
And so we get caught up constantly looking around and comparing our lives to others who seem to have it all together (nobody has it all together) and wondering why our own process is taking longer or is slower than others. We subconsciously find ourselves calling some stages in our process “delays” because Society has prescribed the specific time within which certain things need to be achieved and if they have not, they are delays. And so even when we speak to people about where we are in life and certain things have not happened for us, we refer to them as “delays”. 
Who told you it is a delay?
Let me use this illustration. Imagine walking down a street alone and you know where you’re going to so you just keep walking, perhaps listening to music and enjoying the cool breeze of the day. You eventually get where you’re going to and all is well. Now, imagine walking with your friend who is taller than you and has longer legs than you do. Your friend might most likely always find himself walking ahead of you because he has longer legs and then might say “speed up a little you’re walking  too slow”. But when you were walking on your own and looking ahead at your destination, it did not feel like you were moving “too slow”. However, the minute you start looking at your friend’s path and normal pace of walking and compare it to yours, you feel you’re going too slow and want to catch up by all means. 
Also, I have found that more times than often, we experience moments of waiting; waiting for that job, that relationship, waiting for that one opportunity or something else that you eagerly expect that is not forthcoming at the time you want it to. Sometimes we find that we are waiting for just that one step that might catapult us to places beyond our imagination. But guess what? There will always be times of waiting. Like the quote at the beginning says, it is what we do while waiting that is important. We can choose to be negative and beat ourselves down for not achieving certain goals or realizing certain plans within the time frames we or Society have given ourselves or we can keep going!
I am learning that at each stage of life, there will always be people ahead of me or behind me and that there is absolutely nothing wrong with that. I have learned to fall in love with my own process and path (inclusive of the “set backs”, milestones accomplished and even dreams not yet achieved) while learning to surrender my life and plans to God. I have also learned that someone else may have a greater opportunity at getting the same things I want and this may enable the person get those things within a shorter time than I would, and that is perfectly okay.
I am also learning that I may have to work twice as hard to achieve a goal or accomplish a task and that is fine, I’ll find two more ways to accomplish or not accomplish that task. Above all, I have learned that everything eventually falls into place and takes shape one way or the other. Just because my process has more hurdles or days, months or even years of waiting should not mean that it is more disappointing. Instead, I choose to see it as an exciting experience and I am learning each day to live in that passion.

Remember that there is only so much you can control. Learn to live each day in light and love while putting your head down, holding your pen steady and working on achieving those things you have set out to achieve. The minute you look up to look around and compare yourself to others, you loose all the focus you need in your process. Things may not seem to be working out how you planned them or may not be going as fast as you want them or as fast as you dreamed. Things may not even seem to be looking up for you right now and you may feel like losing hope all together. But remember, each person has his own story. Each person has his journey. Each person has his path.

Keep going.

Be patient. Trust God. Own your journey. Trust the Process.

On Freedom…

So this time last year, I posted a little piece on valuing freedom on Facebook and it came up as a reminder. I thought to share it with a little bit of editing.
They say to appreciate the true value of life, you many need to visit at least three very important places; a prison, an emergency ward in a hospital (or a hospital in general) and a graveyard. I was privileged to visit a Prison this time last year and what I saw would forever change my perspective on life.
The Facebook post is below:
“There comes a time, a moment, an hour, or maybe even a split second or after having had an experience where you find yourself in deep gratitude to God. You have this inexplicable feeling of soberness and remorse for ever being ungrateful in life, for every ungrateful word or statement of complaint you have ever uttered, jokingly or in a moment of deep frustration.
Today, I experienced one of such moments. Today I visited the Keffi Prison, Nassarawa State. Being my first visit to a prison, I had mixed feelings of anxiety and excitement. Other than what I had watched in the movies or series, and what I had been told, I had never really seen what the inside of a prison looked like first hand. When we arrived, most of the prisoners (feels weird calling them that but that is what they are…I guess) were in the chapel (the Chapel of Reconciliation was what it was called).
As we approached the chapel, I could hear drums being beaten loudly and passionately by the prisoners as they belted out gospel songs at the top of their lungs. As we entered the hall of the chapel, the putrid smell that overwhelmed it stung my nostrils and I had to consciously fight to keep my face straight.
I guess what melted my heart the most was the fact that these were people living in the most uncomfortable of conditions, most of them as a result of awaiting trial and some, because they could not pay a meagre sum of two thousand Naira. Some were there out of an unfortunate event (such as walking around without having an ID card and looking “suspicious”).Yet…they sang…they danced, they praised and worshiped God with so much joy and sincerity. For some, I could see the pain and regret in their eyes, the silent wishes and desires for second chances, second chances that did not seem to be forthcoming…but in that moment, all that mattered was the happiness they enjoyed while praising God. I drank it all in; the smiles on their faces and the way some clutched their bibles and eagerly took down notes while the short message was being delivered.
As I stared around in awe, I thought to myself “these people are confined within the four walls of this prison. Most of them would not be going anywhere soon..or in some years…They are probably going to be stuck here for a really long time. Some may have even forgotten what it’s like to be free.”
In that very moment I learned to stop complaining about the little and meaningless things, about the things that do not matter. I learned to enjoy life to God’s glory and be happy with the freedom I have been given. I learned to release my mind from any mental prisons that my mind may have subconsciously wandered into and most importantly, I learned to value my freedom.”
It was truly a life changing experience for me. I had never felt so much remorse in my life for all the moments I was ungrateful or all the moments I had failed to use my freedom to the glory of God.
It could be me in there. Or you.
And while it was obvious to us all that these men were physically imprisoned, I wondered about many of us who are mentally imprisoned; walking around with so much freedom but allowing your mind to be mentally imprisoned by the bars of negative thoughts, fear of failure, peer pressure and its expectations, expectations from the society and even social media.
It has been one year since I put up this post. Most of those men are still in that prison and some may not be released for a long time to come.
Some days back I stumbled on an Instagram story being put up by CNN. I was able to get some screenshots of what was going on and it really convicted me. I have shared some of them below. The story was about Maha, a young Syrian widow who was trapped with her son in a city for several months and was communicating with her mother via Whatsapp. Some of the messages were sent in late September of this year and some in early October… While one young woman who has lost her husband was fighting for her life and not able to walk the streets free, I was probably complaining about traffic or rain or work or stress or whatever.
Source: CNN Instagram page.
What are you going to do differently today to show how much value you place on your freedom?

Just Get Started!!

“He has not learned the first lesson of life who does not every day surmount a fear.”

– Ralph Waldo Emerson


Lord knows this blog has been a long time coming. The whole world (well, my world) knows this blog has been a long time coming.. too long. Well, that’s what fear and uncertainty does to your dreams if you allow it and that’s why my first post seeks to encourage you today to do just one thing…get started! I’m basically speaking to myself but secretly(not so secretly) hoping to ignite that spark within someone else.

Sooo, you know that one little or big thing you’ve always dreamed of doing or experiencing or even going for, but never got to do for one reason or the other such as fear of failure or uncertainty of what comes next? Yeah, that one. Do it.

You’ve probably heard this a gazillion times and its probably been the same small voice in your head every time saying “If only it were that easy…” That seemingly small voice can cause such a gigantic and unimaginable effect in a negative way. Of course, it may not be easy to get that dream or goal started, but I bet if you took one insy winsy step, continuing would come naturally.  

Think about it; you are nervous or scared about getting into the water because you are constantly thinking about how hot, cold, warm or deep it is. You have allowed fear to overtake your mind and keep you in a constant state of paralysis. That “little” “careful” and discouraging voice always has a way of creeping up at the moment where you’re about to dive and it doesn’t help one bit. Your mind is fixed on the negative what-ifs. What if i drown? What if i get burned? What if it’s too hot? What if its too cold? What if i get overwhelmed by the waves?What if I get eaten by a two-headed shark? What if I get eaten by a two-headed shark and it spits me out and I get eaten by a three-headed shark? (okay, I would totally think the last two. I don’t know about you) What if… What if… What if…

But then you want to know whether the water is cold? Get in. Want to know whether its deep? Get in. Want to know if you’ll be able to swim against the tides and the waves? Get in. Want to know whether there are any two-headed sharks or if they’ll be friendly? Get in. Want to know if you’ll experience the positive what-ifs? Get in.  And you can start by dipping your toes in the water right before you dive in.

One thing I have learned about fear is that is boxes you into a very comfortable position (your comfort zone) and keeps you trapped in that zone where you begin to question the point of having big dreams and goals. You could get so “content” with where you are in life that stepping out of the comfort zone seems almost impossible. So you end up postponing the baby steps to the realization of your dreams and goals to the “next week” or “next year” because “it’s just too huge and complicated”. “Why should I anyway? I have food to eat and a place to sleep. I’m good to go. What’s this “goals” stuff and “dreaming big” stuff anyway?” said the mind that is so far into the comfort zone. Granted, the comfort zone is safe, comfortable as it where…but that’s all that it will ever be. You can only go as far and as high as your comfort zone,

For me, it’s been such an amazing journey learning everyday that although a task, goal or achievement may seem like such an uphill battle or an impossible task, I’ll never really know until I just get started. I’m learning that sometimes fear could make you postpone certain steps to that dream or goal out of fear of failure or fear of disappointment while steady convincing yourself that it’s for the best. I’m learning that with each waking day, there has to be some fear surmounted to get closer to that dream. I’m learning that while you can have the whole perfect picture in your head of how you want that dream to manifest into reality or that ambition into achievement, there is no picture without a pixel. I’m learning that it takes being brave, courageous and strong to understand that you may try something and it may not work the first time, but with constant perseverance and belief in oneself, things would surely work out. 

And when you do get started and take that first step, do not worry about what lies ahead because it all eventually falls into place when you put all that hard work and planning into play. However, things may not always go as planned, but when life throws you lemons?….build a lemon castle!!! And for the moments where you feel lost or like you’re taking one step forward and two steps back, just keep moving… keep going…

But first, get started.

“I can almost see it.
That dream I’m dreaming,
But there’s a voice inside my head saying,
“You’ll never reach it.”
Every step I’m takin’
Every move I make feels lost with no direction,
My faith is shakin’
But I, I gotta keep tryin’
Gotta keep my head held high

There’s always gonna be another mountain
I’m always gonna wanna make it move
Always gonna be an uphill battle
Sometimes I’m gonna have to lose
Ain’t about how fast I get there
Ain’t about what’s waitin’ on the other side
It’s the climb

The struggles I’m facing
The chances I’m taking
Sometimes might knock me down,
But no, I’m not breaking
I may not know it,
But these are the moments
That I’m gonna remember most, yeah
Just gotta keep goin’,
And I, I gotta be strong
Just keep pushing on”

– Miley Cyrus, The Climb