I Feel Like Dying; Excerpts From a Lunatic’s Journal (3)

16–02-2020

I drove by Third Mainland Bridge today.

The water looked inviting.

I parked my car a couple of times along the stretch. But I was too scared to walk close to the edge of the bridge.

I’ve been thinking a lot about life. My purpose? Why I’m on earth? It doesn’t make any sense. It never has. I continue to search. I feel lost. I feel alone.

Why can’t anyone hear me screaming through these smiles? Why can’t they hear me fighting to stay alive? Oh, I’m just being selfish. Everyone has their life to live, I guess.

It’s crazy of me to think of diving into that never-ending water. But sometimes I hear it calling out to me. I hear it promising me heights of ecstasy and peace of mind that I will not experience here.

I do not want to be another statistic.

But aren’t we all?

Crazy.

Lunatic.

Mad.

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